The moment you've all been waiting for.......THE GRAND FINALE!!!

      Alright, so yesterday ended my Paleo 30 day challenge.  I know you all want to know was it worth it?  Was is hard? Did you see any difference? Will you continue?
   So I guess I should start with the basics, I went into this challenge thinking it was going to be the hardest thing I have ever tried to do.  Honestly, I am not sure if its because I had made up my mind to do it or I was ready for the challenge but it really wasn't all that hard. The one thing I thought I would miss the most (complex carbs, bread, pasta, ect.) was the least thing that I missed.  Weird, I know but before when we had dinner laden with heavy carbs and starches afterwards I felt HORRIBLE, overly full, and always regretting what I had eaten. Now after dinners I am satisfied, not hungry, and feel great.  The differences I see in my skin, sleeping patterns, and overall how I feel is definitely worth it. I have learned new ways of satisfying sweet tooth (that is the only craving that I sometimes have at night after dinner)  I figured out a handful of blueberries, raspberries, coconut milk, a tiny drizzle of raw honey, and crushed almonds did the trick) and I didn't have a sugar coma afterwards.
   I figured out quickly if I fixed the same boring thing everyday I wasn't going to be able to stick with it.  Food is just as visual for me, so I concentrated on making things look pretty and yummy at the same time.  I didn't use a ton of recipes, I would just set out what I had and come up with things.  It's fun to get creative and yes having a hubby who has a strong culinary urge doesn't hurt either.  I am eating more variety in my diet than I ever did before.  Alot of people have asked if I made my kids do this, and the answer is no.  My kids diets were already pretty varied, but I will tell you that Tony and I eating healthier in turn made them eat a ton more veggies and fruit than before.  Ella and Logan now prefer almond butter over peanut butter and Ella asked, "Why are you and Daddy eating healthier?" which started a conversation about how important healthy eating and exercise is (proof that your children pattern their habits after you).
   So yesterday to celebrate our 30 day victory we decided to have dinner at 5 guys and then have Graeter's ice cream.  Guess what?  I though I would be in a blissful state afterwards, instead I couldn't even eat my bun on my burger or all of it, we each eat ate maybe 3 french fries before we both decided it didn't taste good, and then at Graeter's (I thought would complete my wildest dreams) I got halfway through and was literally dry heaving on the way home.  Our bodies figured out how good it was to be rid of all that junk, and we figured out we didn't even have a taste for it anymore.  We both felt miserable and couldn't wait until the morning to get back on the Paleo kick.  That should answer the question, do we plan on continuing?  the answer is unequivocally yes!!!  The difference in our life and energy is crazy.  Don't get me wrong we plan on going to the 80/20 rule, I still plan on enjoying life and food (which is a big family oriented thing for us) but we are going to make smarter choices with the 20%, a bite of that banana pudding, a sliver of that birthday cake.
    And the moment you have all been waiting for.  It's important to know that since starting the 30 challenge a few life things got in the way of me working out as hard and as much as I wanted, with that being said though my results can tell you just how important nutrition is to working out.  So I know you all want to know did I see a difference?  The final results were......
    I lost a total of 12 lbs and 2 inches off every single one of my measurements....hips, waist, thighs, calf, arms....for a total of 10 total inches lost!!!  I feel so much better, I have muscle definition where I have never had it before, and I need new clothes!!!  This plan isn't for everyone, I get it.  I am not going to beat you over the head with this is the only thing for anyone to do to lose weight.  I just know for me it has worked and has been worth it in the end.  It's a plan you can follow easy even when hanging out with friends, and you actually get to eat food!!!  and lots of it, and you don't have to measure and weigh things and figure out points and calories and carbs and fats and do a whole bunch of calculating.  It is alot of prep and planning ahead where food is concerned, but a few hours every Sunday has allowed us to spend more quality time together.  I hope to post pics soon, I need to frame them all together and I may make it by special request only (not every one needs to be submitted to me in minimal clothing...LOL).  So if you are interested in the picture results let me know I will inbox you them on FB.
 

You say Pal-eo, I say Pa-leo...Primal, Caveman, whatever.......

       Okay so I decided on this whole fitness journey that something just wasn't working.  I hit a plateau and just couldn't push that scale past that one place that I yearned to get under.  It wasn't budging.  Before you start in, yes I know muscle ways more than fat.  I am perfectly aware of my body fat % and have dropped it by almost 12% since I started this whole rodeo in June of 2011.  However, I am well aware that I have some LBS that need to come off, particularly in my Joey pouch region. (This is what a kangaroo calls her flappy skin pouch on her belly that carries her baby AKA Joey, AKA my Joey pouch).   3 C-sections with limited time between the last two has left me with a nice little Joey pouch and some serious core work to improve on.  I must insert here that I wouldn't trade a flat stomach for the birth of my children, but would sure like to have the best of both worlds.  I was convinced that no amount of exercise or diet change was going to help the Joey pouch completely.  So I just tried the sensible eating plan for a while which worked in the beginning.  Truthfully I was probably a little liberal in my sensibility as we started to fall victim to the convenience of food rather than the nutritional value.  3 kids, work part time, dinner was my last thought and something I dreaded having to come up with.  
   Then I started reading about my friends whole Paleo/Crossfit thing.  I was instantly intrigued with the Crossfit, I thought the Paleo thing sounded crazy, I could never give up that stuff.  My dairy (I am bordering on a cheese snob), bread (I love and crave bread), sweets and sugars (what about my nightly brownie fix with my cold milk) and I wondered why the scale wasn't moving.  So the more and more I invested in researching this Crossfit thing I thought, nothing is going to change if I don't change up my diet.  So I started to research the Paleo thing.  It was all the stuff I love just minus all the processed crap and things our body reacts to poorly (and which I happened to love very much).  So that was it....the switch flipped, if I was going to do this I was going to go all in.  I made my mind up to do it and my husband jumped on board, with some coaxing. Much easier as a team effort.  So I went to the grocery (which by the way is a super quick trip when you just hit produce, meat, and eggs with a quick swing by the nuts) and stocked up.
    The thing I was dreading the most was missing my morning coffee (coffee is Paleo approved but the mass quantities of sugar and flavored creamer that I so loved alas were not).  I used some coconut milk in my coffee and guess what....I actually liked it.  I wasn't sad or devastated.  I actually liked the taste of coffee in its raw form...who knew? For breakfast:steak and eggs.  Satisfied and wasn't hungry an hour later unlike my carb loaded breakfast days.  So the journey began.  
   Don't get me wrong, FYI, to be successful at this it is a ton of prep work.  We have a prep night on Sunday and we package up both of our lunches for the week. We are usually home for breakfast and dinners and have time to make those but still you must have a plan and quick access to cut veggies and things or you won't follow through. 
     People keep asking me do I miss the stuff I can't have and I have to honestly say, I don't.  I haven't had a craving for bread, dairy, or really even sugars. Mind you I am on Day 10 so there is still room to change my tune on this front.  Things I have noticed: I sleep better (no more midday wishes for a nap, I am tired when its time to go to sleep and I sleep well), my energy levels are increasing (the first couple of days I was slightly cranky and had a small headache, detox mode), the craziest difference is my skin looks and feels better (I had some ruddiness in my cheeks that is gone and my skin isn't as dry).  
   All in all for me so far it has been a positive experience.  I feel better and stepped onto the scale after week 1, and was blown away.  I plan on giving full results when I am finished but let's just say I busted through the plateau and saw numbers on the scale I haven't see in awhile.  So wish me luck as I am into week 2 (I've read it gets ugly in week 2, here's hoping).

My decision to drink the Kool-Aid

     Alright so I decided last week that I needed to do something else for my fitness plan.  Granted I had gotten pretty serious after the birth of my 3 child and decided to get back into shape.  I had managed to drop 2 pants sizes, run a 10k in November and shed a total of 25 lbs.  I was working out first with a personal trainer (Steve Ault of AULTimate Fitness, he's got a FB page check it out, http://www.facebook.com/AULTimateBodyFitness, awesome guy), but the constraints of motherhood and sick babies made my 6am workout increasingly difficult.  I then started at the YMCA with a training group.  LOL...I was going at 12 noon, taking all 3 kids to childwatch and getting in an hour group workout.  First of all, let me say the "group" had been working out together for 2 years, lunch break buddies from the same job, that all worked out together.  My first day, I pretty much felt like I had just runined the party.  No one spoke to me except for the rare occassion that someone commented, "You know your not doing that right!" and walked off.  Needless to say, I didn't feel the love but I still went.  However, a hard winter healthwise, all 3 kids were constantly getting sick preventing me from taking them to childwatch which prevented me from working out. When I could I would carry all 3 kids down to the basement to work out.  It's not that I mind this and feel fortunate to have a gym in my basement, but the constant treadmill interruptions of "MOMMY HE HIT ME" or "MOMMY SHE LOOKED AT ME" tends to get a little old and sometimes its just easier not to deal with.  SO this brings me to the present.  Having been friends with her younger sister in school and following her blog and updates on FB I began really getting interested in what she was doing.  BTW check out her blog very informative and entertaining (http://crossfitmommeghanphilpot.blogspot.com) and maybe she can give me a shout out and I can get some new followers (I know desperation plug, I'm really in to being validated by friends, strangers, pretty much anyone....just saying).  I digress.   I started following her advice, her topics, got really stoked about this whole Crossfit thing and the whole Paleo approach to eating.  Did my research, found a close Crossfit location, bought lots of meat, some more meat, and some veggies and fruit (there's a little more to it but that's the jist) and started this all on Saturday.  First day of Paleo, first day of intro session at Crossfit.

     So Saturday morning I get up and I'm not going to lie I feel like it the first day of highschool.   I'm all nervous, trying to figure out what I'm going to wear (loose workout pants say I'm new to this but yoga pants might give the impression that I think I know what I'm doing).  Do I dare wear shorts? (scratch that I haven't donned a pair of shorts since middle school, there's a whole lotta counseling behind that one so we won't go there).  I always liked the high knee sock look with shorts (I get cold sweats just saying it again) for workouts, but I feel that is territory earned by your time at the facility.  So I settle for loose workout pants and a black T-shirt, business casual Simon Cowell style.  I enter the facility and its pretty crowded.  One of the trainers tells me the trainer I am meeting is on his way, so I press myself as hard as I can against the wall near the door and stand there wide eyed.  

      Here is where it now differs from anywhere I have ever been, and certainly different than the "mean kids" of lunchtime fitness.  Almost instantly people started coming up and introducing themselves, asking if I was new, was I going to join.  They all shared their stories on how they got started, how much they loved it, and invited me to peel myself from the wall.  The mix of people was great: men, women, ages 18-57 in this class.  Different fitness levels from beginners to elite and they were all doing the same workout all at their own levels.  Once the elite of the group had knocked out their workout, they went right behind those still pushing through and get this......cheered them on!!!!  It was awesome!!!  The atmosphere was infectious, non judgemental, and totally inviting.  My trainer came in, showed me some basics, but I was sold before he ever even entered the building.  I had never felt so accepted into a team of people since high school, and the feeling was welcomed.  We talked about the basics cost, fundamentals classes....the boring stuff.  I was never onced pressured about starting or getting a membership.  It was a simple: This is what we are, if you would like to join us great we would love to have you, but it's not for everyone.

  There is always mixed reviews and critics for everything out there.  I have heard the phrase of how Crossfit is (cult-like), and I'm not gong to lie knowing nothing about it and reading about other Crossfitters, one has a tendency to think," Come on, it can be that great....can it?"  So I am here to say it's not for everyone, its hardcore.  No girly weights, jumping around to Latin music (no dig here I happen to love jumping around to Latin music, but alas this is nothing like that), no barbie like instructors or waif like participants.  So yeah I really dug it and will be taking my first fundamentals class this week, so to answer your question, "Yes, I have decided to drink the Crossfit kool-aid."

Someone Hold Me!!!!

Ever wonder how we do it?  You know as mom's, during the not so fun mommy times.  The days when you have been up all night and much to your dismay that little head bops in at 6:00 am or that cry comes from the crib.  The times when you at first are angry, that you can't believe the kids are up already....don't they know you JUST went to bed?  Of course they don't and chances are if they did they wouldn't care....you're the mom, this is what you signed up for, aware or not.  But how do we really do it?  Find that last bit of energy in our bodies to fix a breakfast, pack a lunch, get up for the hundredth time.  The nights when at 2:00 am you are up doing laundry because a little one puked all over the place, when as soon as the door cracks open and you hear the dry heave you bound out of bed like Jack Lelane.   You sit up on the couch with that 7-up in one hand, a puke bucket in the other, watching some person's hand with eyes telling one word comments that you are sure is making you lose brain cells just watching, yet we press on.  We rock into the night that crying baby, when we really just want someone to rock us.  We thrash around in the bed in the early morning silently cursing the fact that someone is up AGAIN and we haven't slept, but put on the mommy face when the voice gets closer.
I am pretty sure God wired mother's different.  He gave them a secret reserve that no one else possesses.  That last little bit of energy, that last little bit of comforting words, the stuff that every child wants when they don't feel good or are sick.  I mean I still want my mommy when I don't feel good, it's a feeling no one else can fill or it just isn't the same.  These are the moments that you can't be trained for, you can't be prepared for, and you sure aren't ready for.  Yet in some way it is oddly satisfying, to know that you in that moment are the only one that can fix it.  Let's face it we spend most of our adult lives as mothers and caregivers trying to fix and mend and comfort. I have a new found respect for the woman that spent many a nights by my bedside whether in sickness or in prayer.  I think that we are fueled by that unconditional love, the kind of love that makes weary arms strong and heavy hearts light.  I soon realized it must be the same love God has for us.  To know that he sits by that sick child's bedside with us, just as worried as we may be.  He rocks us into the night while we hold that crying baby, wishing he could take away our tears.  He fixes and mends and comforts just like we do fueled simply by unconditional love.  So now I know where it comes from, after all we are made in his image, but I still could use a nap.

The Perpetual Lunch Table

     There I was, pulling into the parking lot. Palms sweaty, heart racing.  I checked my hair in the mirror....twice.  I pulled at my shirt and tugged at my pants all the while thinking, "My butt probably looks huge."  I stepped out of the car and started my journey to the door.  I walked fast, in a hurry to just get it over with, then slowed down not wanting to rush the terror.  I pulled open the door and there I was.  I nervously looked around, the groups were already assembled, "Wow that was fast"  I thought.  Over by the gym were the jocks all decked out in their workout gear, fresh from a workout, chatting about whose heart rate got the highest during spin class.  Then there were the business types, all dressed up in their pencil skirts and pearls arguing about the latest white collar debacles.  Then there were the couponers all huddled around a table with their giant binders, showing off receipts of who saved the most at the grocery.  I silently slipped in and sat by myself.  Sounds like an out take from the first day of high school doesn't it.  The nervousness, the fear of judgement, the judgements you cast yourself.  Yeah, well it was the first day of me picking Ella up from pre-K and I was walking into the lion's den of other pre-K moms, still filled with the same insecurities as when I was sixteen.   Funny how that works isn't it.  We think we have come so far in life, done so much.  We are wiser we hope, make better decisions.  We have done well for ourselves and are happy in our lives, BUT the minute we are thrown into the cesspool of our own gender, we turn into that same insecure 16 year old girl.  The only things that have changed are the subject now of our insecurities.  Am being the best mom I can be?  Am I being the best wife I can be? Am I giving all to work? Am I giving all to God? Am I this? Am I that? Am I being the best (insert your own, we all do it ALL the time).  As I walked into that lobby that day, all of those fears flooded my entire being.  I had thrown my hair (two days past a good washing) into a messy ponytail, I had thrown on some workout type pants (which mind you I had definitely not worked out in that morning) and a T-shirt.  I drug my 18 month old up from his nap, with Fruity Pebbles still clinging to his head from breakfast, and left.  When I left, I pretended (operative word) I didn't care.  "I'm a mom, I have two little kids, I'm pregnant, no one else cares......"   Famous last words.  I nearly had a panic attack approaching that door. They were all going to stare at me, talk about how sad they were for me, talk about how awful my life must be.  They would want to offer their pity friendships, give me a makeover, invite me to join their book group because they felt sorry for me.  It was utter and total agony.
       Funny how that works, even as adult women we can still be sucked back into the same world we possessed when were 16.  The same thoughts, the same fears, the same insecurities.  The same feeling of failure if we have a bad "mommy" day.  Yet sadly we are, are own worst enemies.  We cut each other down, we gossip, we hold grudges, we judge, we manipulate.  We all know how each other feel, yet we jump at the chance to criticize each other, over nothing more than our own insecurities.  Now don't get me wrong we also rally around each other.  We offer hope, shoulders to cry on, encouragement, love, nurturing friendships, but we are all guilty of preying on each other's short comings.
     So I finally talked myself out of that panic attack, I sat alone with my Fruity Pebbled baby.  My mind raced with more questions of doubt and anxiety until I saw her smiling face.  Around the corner she ran, grinning ear to ear.  She sat down and waited to be dismissed.  The teacher went around the circle and released kids quietly to their moms, each members of the jocks, couponers, and business women.  Then she got to Ella, "Where's your mommy?"  Ella jumped from where she sat, stood up and proudly announced, "That's my mommy!!"  In that instant every doubt and insecurity I walked through that door with left.  It was gone in an instant because my 4 year old daughter had just taught me an invaluable lesson.  You see in that moment I realized the only expectations I needed to live up to were my children and my husband, and ultimately the wonderful God that I serve.  Don't get my wrong that is a tall order and I have already slipped up and failed in all departments the only difference is they don't judge me by my failures.  They love me regardless and unconditionally, and that is something we should all remind ourselves.

If at first you don't suceed.....find another dream......

    So I have always wanted to be a writer.  I spent the majority of my life writing poems, short stories, scribbling endlessly.  My senior year I just new I wanted to be a journalist or a rock star, actually neither of which ever panned out.  So life takes different directions and roads and mine ended me up here, which by the way I wouldn't change for the world.  Part time nurse in Pediatric Oncology (believe me it is as depressing as it sounds, but so incredibly life rewarding at the same time), full time mommy to a 4 year old daughter, 18 month old son. and soon to be newborn son in December (it is as chaotic as it sounds but equally life rewarding), and full time wife to my hubby of 6 years (who by the way, hate to brag and all, but is utterly perfect and fantastic, just saying).  In the midst of all those things I actually forgot how much I loved to write until I started to post little updates on this networking thing you may have heard of, Facebook.  I have a half finished book saved to my hard drive which is 5 years in the making and not near finished, a mind full of ideas, endless scraps of paper stuffed in notebooks with ideas, and no where to go. I was so obsessed with writing something that would be on Oprah's book club or something (highly unlikely yes, in my crazy mind possibly attainable).  I had the urge to write something that would change someones life if they read it, something that would make people stain the pages with tears, have an AH HA moment.  Then I quickly realized that the chances of that happening were as likely as me becoming that rock star my senior year, so I just threw my notebooks in a box, chucked the scraps of paper, and locked away that half finished book in the hard drive somewhere in cyberspace.
      Then I begin noticing my friends around me discovering and pursuing their back burner dreams, and they were blowing me away and quite frankly I was jealous of them.  They were opening up their dreams that were shoved away to play wife, mother, daughter, care giver and I was in awe.  They were starting blogs about their lives, sharing their fears, failures, and successes.  Now blogging I had thought about but quickly thought "Who in the world would want to read things I write about my life?", so I was doing what I always do self sabotaging myself before I was even out of the gate.  So I posted updates on Facebook about the silliness of my life and people actually commented on them, liked them even.  Then I began reading my friends blogs and thought, "I enjoy reading about their lives, maybe people would enjoy reading about mine,"  and at the end of the day even if they don't, I enjoy writing about it even if no one ever reads it.  So here it is my first blog, inspired by my dear friend Sheila Castle, who amazes me everyday with the pursuit of her real dream job, and also shows off on occasion with her new DIY skills (whatever.....so not crafty), and my lovely new friend Katie Stephenson who recently began blogging about her new life in motherhood.  So yeah, I am going to give it a whirl, try my hand at something new.  May not make it to Oprah, but hey "If at first you don't succeed".......for me find another dream, or at least modify the first one.